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The Barons V King John
The Barons V King John is a song from the episode ''Crooked King John & Magna Carta'' in the ''Horrible Histories'' TV series. It first aired on February 7, 2015, & later in the special Rotten Rulers. In this song, a rap battle commences at Runnymede when the Barons tell King John to sign the Magna Carta. Lyrics Baron #1: W-W-Where to start? Which part? We've got so many grievances, we could fill a cart! Baron #2: Let's start with some facts--like tax! They're so heavy, that they're going to break our backs! Baron #3: We can't pay! There's no chance! We lost all our money when you lost France! The northern bit, anyway. Bishop: Your Majesty, you got pwned. Drop some beats, player! John: I'm confused! Is this real? I thought I was the King--I'm holding his seal! Kneel to the King, I'll see you grovel in the grime! I'll tax what I like--I'll even tax this rhyme! Baron #2: Barons don't grovel! It's time to get real! Listen to me, dog, or you're going to feel some steel! Baron #1: This charter's tight! We don't need to fight! Just hit it with your seal & give us our rights! Bishop: Some serious points! Baron #1: I ain't finished! We want a council to represent which people! We want a free church with a free steeple! We want you to stop stealing our sons, And holding them hostage like you have done! Baron #3: There's vital stuff here that you've got to give us! There's also some stuff about fishing in the rivers... Baron #2: So stop! Read what we plead! Agree the deed in Runnymede! Do what we ask, or we're going to make you bleed! John: *yawn* Yeah, I hear what you're saying. If I don't tread gently, my life will be claimed. So tell me what to do! You're the boss. Though we'll have to do this later 'cause I'm taking up the cross. Bishop: Interesting development! I wonder... I'll shut up. Baron #1: Hang on a minute! You must think we're barmy! While you're talking here, you're hiring up an army! So how about this? Let's barter. Barons: We'll stay loyal if you agree to Magna Carta. Baron #1: Boom! Barons 2 & 3: Oh! John: Whatever, dog. I'll agree your skanky scroll. I'm tired of this game, it's time for me to roll. I ain't bothered, & don't fool me with sorrow. No one will even remember this tomorrow! Plus, I'm besties with the Pope, & he'll ignore this thing! I'll do things my way, 'cause I'm John & I'm the King! Boom! Barons: Oh! Baron #3: Man, this King is phat! John: Harsh. Cast *Ben Miller as John, King of England *TBA as a Baron *TBA as a Baron *Naz Osmanoglu as a Baron *TBA as the Bishop *Jessica Ransom as a Protestor Notes External Links *The Barons V King John on YouTube Category:Horrible Histories Category:Horrible Histories 2009-2011 TV Series Category:Series 6 of Horrible Histories Category:Songs Category:Measly Middle Ages (Sketches)